Heartbreak

I know I am a horrible blogger. My excuse is that I don't have the time or energy, but I need to make the time. Not because I want the whole world to know about every detail of my life, but because I need to express myself, and well...journal writing is too hard. It is easier and faster to type it all up. So I have resolved that I am going to do this, because I need an outlet. And if you all want to follow along, then that is fine. But don't blame me if some of the subject matter is boring and/or uncomfortable for you. Hehehehe.

LIFE IS HARD!!!
Just saying...

Right now it seems like not much is going very well at all. Not to be a whiner, but I am having a really hard time right now. I think because I have all sorts of ages in the house, and because each age comes with its own set of unique problems, I have a lot of drama in my house. I can list it if you would like:

1. Michael's hair--this has become an issue in our ward. IN OUR WARD! What?! It seems that there are people in our ward who have complained to the Bishop about Michael's hair, and so the Bishop pulled Michael aside and told him that he needed to get a haircut and change his hair back to its normal color. And he gave him an ultimatum...he may not pass the sacrament or be the Teacher's Quorum President (which he has already been called to, but not sustained) until he does this. So of course, we have been having major discussions in our home about this. And of course Michael doesn't want to do either, and he is fine with not performing his priesthood duties. Arggghh! What is a parent to do? I am mad. Not only at the people in our ward who can't mind their own business, but also because as a parent I had chosen not to make Michael's hair an issue, and now I am forced to support the Bishop. I feel like my rights as a parent have been ignored. If anybody has any great advice on how to handle this whole situation, it would be greatly appreciated. I love Michael in spite of and because of his hair!

MICHAEL'S HAIR:

2. Hailey is friendless. Well, that is not entirely true. But it is how she feels in our ward. Last night we went to a Mother/Daughter Relief Society meeting and she ended up crying. And it is because there was a group of young women sitting at a table, and none of them bothered to talk to her. I felt so bad for her. She sat with me and my friends, but she did not interact with any of the girls there. She says she feels like none of the girls in the ward like her. She says that none of the beehives in her class talk to her and that is why she has been bringing her non-member friend, Whitni, to mutual for the past year. Just so she could have someone to talk to. (She deserves lots of pats on the back for the missionary work she has been doing with Whitni--she wants to be baptized). It has been this way for the past 2 years that we have been in this ward. She doesn't feel included, and nobody really talks to her. She has such a sparkly personality, and she really does make an effort to talk to the girls, but they don't seem to respond to her. It's not just her imagination--I have observed this as well. IT BREAKS MY HEART! I wish I could just shake all of the girls! I'm sure they don't do it on purpose--they already have their friends, and don't really think about how it feels for someone who is trying to make friends. But Hailey has LOTS of friends at school, and she really shines there! I love my Hailey Bug!

WHO WOULDN'T LOVE THIS GIRL?

3. Audrey is really feeling the Middle Child Syndrome. She gets upset easily, and lately has been very clingy to me. I know it because she is feeling forgotten and neglected in all of the teenage drama that we have been dealing with. And also because the two little boys get much, much attention. I think she is a little jealous. But that is a problem that is more easily remedied. I know exactly how to fix her problem. It is just about finding a way to give her more of the attention that she deserves. I really do love my Audrey!

MIDDLE CHILD:

4 & 5. I am going to put Dylan and Jacob together--because they are the Destructive Duo! My house looks like a tornado struck every day, and I never seem to be able to get it set in order before the next wave! I wish I had a housekeeper and a cage! They are my sweet, sweet boys, but they exhaust me. By the end of the day I am drained! Love my two little ones!

THE DESTRUCTIVE DUO:

So there you have it in a nutshell. I am having a hard time being a parent. I feel so inadequate and alone sometimes. I really don't have too many friends out here, and most of the people I know are half my age and their biggest issue is potty-training. Teenagers are a whole 'nother can of worms. I feel like a miserable failure as a mother!

On the up side--we are seriously considering moving to the property. Even without the big house done. We would move into the little house as soon as Steve can get it finished, and live in it until we could get the big house built. Hopefully only about a year or so. It depends how the house flipping goes. I guess I can't call him Farm Boy anymore. Maybe Bob Villa?